Eulogy Ivan Von Noshrilgram Sr
Eulogy for Ivan Von Noshrilgram Sr
(Recited at an undisclosed Navajo Indian reserve, Four Corners, New Mexico, 1999)
“He was what they used to call a ‘hep-cat’.
He walked a ‘road traveled’
Sure.
…But it wasn’t a highway.
And there was a spring and life in his gate.
But the white picket
…‘White picket’?
it was yards away.
His words were tempered, not tossed:
A ‘box’ was a thing people got stuck in,
not a void others “filled up with crap and gave away at Christmastime,”
he’d say.
...He said a lot of stuff.
Then, he’d clear his throat
and hike up his pants
Yes, sir...
He’d be ready to Bowl.
He “bowled” because it was the right thing to do
- you needn’t question everything.
Just as the ball, solid and indifferent
would disappear before him
in time, it would return, fresh,
anew.
“Not unlike the cycle of death and rebirth!”
Or “the dance of Siva!”
He said these things
and people took notice.
His bowling shirt and shoes were his uniform.
Well, not his whole uniform.
There were pants
black acrylic socks
and, for a time, a mustache.
But in this ritual,
with the team shirt and pants, the shoes, socks
and, with increasing frequency, a large order of nachos with processed cheese and
jalapeño peppers
‘It’ all came together
- while his consort worked the room
at the El Mocambo Chinese Restaurant
across the highway…
Yes, indeed, there was Perfection.
It was that simple!
...Why complicate it? “*
*Mishima Yukio
From the original foreword of The Decay of the Angel.
Recited by Alistair A. Vogan and Akihiro Miwa (with Fabian Jollywigs on the harmonium and Eddie Savoy on ukulele) at the funeral service for Ivan Von Noshrilgram Sr - celebrated philosopher-botanist, wild game hunter, exotic animal trainer, extinguished firewalker, linguist, writer, humanist lecturer, scholar of the myths of the indigenous peoples of America and terrifier．Also, bowler. Ivan Von Noshrilgram Jr BA was not in attendance.
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